Looking for a Mate
Zhu Ziqing文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
I am the oldest son in our family, as well as the oldest grandson. This is why, when I was not quite eleven years old, there was discussion about finding me a wife. I was unsure of what this all meant, of course, but before I knew it, a mate had been found for me. The bride was from my great grandmother’s maiden family, and she lived in a village in a small county in the northern part of Jiangsu. Our family, probably including me, had also lived there for a long time, but I am too stupid to remember a single thing about the place. My grandmother had often talked about it from her opium couch, and she would mention the name of one or another villager. At first, the things she said seemed to me to be enveloped in a haze of white mist, but as time went by, they became familiar, even intimate. I felt at that time that, apart from the place where we were then living, the most interesting place in the world must be that village, known as “The Garden Manor.” That is why, when I heard that my future wife lived there, I found that to be the way things should be, and did not have any objections.文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
Every year, someone would come from the village to visit. They would be dressed in short blue coats with long-stemmed pipes in their mouths, and would bring with them such things as barley flour and dried sweet potatoes. Sometimes they would also talk to us about the young girl. She was probably four years older than I, rather tall, with small feet. At that time, though, I was actually more excited about the flour and dried potatoes.文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
I remember that when I was twelve, they sent news from the place that the young mistress had died of consumption. Nobody at home expressed any sorrow, probably because when they had last seen her, she had still been very little, and now that many years had passed, they could not remember what she was like. My father was working as a government official in another province at the time, and my mother, anxious about my marriage, asked the tailor who often came to our home to sew to serve as matchmaker, for tailors frequented many homes and had the chance to see their womenfolk.文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
The idea seemed to work. The tailor came back one day and told us about the prospects of a particular family: They were wealthy, with two daughters. One had been born to the concubine, while the one with whom he was trying to match me was the older daughter born to the first wife. He said that the other side had suggested that the two families find an occasion to observe their child’s prospective mate. My mother agreed and an appointment was set for the tailor to bring me a teahouse. I remember it being winter, and on that day, my mother made me put on my date-colored robe made of Nanjing silk, a black mandarin jacket of the same material, and my black satin skullcap with the red knot. She also instructed to me conduct myself with care.文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
文章源自英文巴士-https://www.en84.com/15214.html
In the teahouse, we met with a man sent to observe me. He had a square face and big ears, and was almost the same age as I am now. He was wearing a cloth robe and a cloth mandarin jacket, and looked as if he were in mourning. He was rather kind, and, as he looked me over, asked me what book I was then studying and other such questions. After we got home, the tailor said that the man had examined me very closely, that he thought that the area between my nose and lips was long, and therefore that I would live to a ripe old age. He also observed the way I walked for fear there might be something wrong with my feet. In any event, now that they had observed me, it was our turn to observe her. My mother sent along her trusted old nanny, who came back with the report that the older daughter was bigger than I by a wide margin, filling up a round-backed armchair when she sat down. The second daughter, on the other hand, was rather slender. My mother said that women who were too fat could have trouble conceiving, like so-and-so among our relatives. She then suggested to the tailor that he match me up with the second daughter. The other family was apparently offended by this proposal and would not agree to it. And so the matter came to an end.
Somewhat later, my mother got to know a woman at the mah-jongg table. The woman had a daughter who seemed clever and alert, and my mother’s interest was aroused. When she came home, she told us that the young girl was the same age as I, and that, from the way she hopped about, it was obvious that she was still a child. Some time passed, and my mother sent someone to sound out the family. Apparently, the head of the family was also an official, but at a rank even lower than my father’s – it was the year before the restoration* and people were still concerned about such things – and that is why they were happy with the match. The whole affair had almost come to fruition when, all of a sudden, something went wrong. My mother had somehow found out that a widow employed by a grandmother in our clan knew the family very well. My mother had summoned her for information, and she was evasive in her answers. Finally, however, the truth came out. It turned out that the young girl had been adopted, though the family doted on her as if she were their own flesh and blood. My mother lost heart. Two years later, we heard that the girl had contracted tuberculosis and had become addicted to opium. My mother said thank goodness we had not gone ahead with the match! I was beginning to understand things like this, and had similar thoughts.
In the year of the restoration, my father came down with typhoid fever. We tried many doctors and finally decided on a Mr. Wu, who was to become my future father-in-law. One day, the manservant who was often sent to call for the doctor came back to say that the doctor had a daughter at home. Since my father was lying sick, my mother naturally was all the more worried about my marriage prospects. As soon as she heard the news, she bombarded the servant with questions. Now, the servant was just making offhand remarks and of course could not give satisfactory answers to all my mother’s questions. When the doctor came the next time, my mother sent someone to ask one of his sedan carriers whether the young lady had been born to the family. The carrier said yes. My mother then brought the matter up with my father, and asked my uncle to speak to the doctor. I was sitting by my father’s sick bed that day and heard every word. After ascertaining that the young lady had not been promised to anybody in marriage, my uncle asked the doctor, “What would you think of a family such as So-and-So’s?” The doctor replied, “That would be rather nice.” The conversation ended there. What followed was for the two families to observe the two of us. Once again, my mother sent her trusted old nanny. This time the report was favorable, even though she felt that the feet of the young lady were a bit big. So it was decided. My mother conveyed through the sedan carrier the wish that the bride’s family could perhaps begin to bind her feet.
After my wife came to our house, she related that when the old nanny had come to observe her, she had already hidden away and the nanny saw another girl who was put in her place. The message delivered by the sedan carrier nonetheless gave rise to a small tempest. My father-in-law said to my mother-in-law, “I’ve always told you to have her feet bound, but you wouldn’t listen to me. See what people are saying about us now!” But my mother-in-law said, “So what? I won’t do it! We’ll see what they can do about it.” In the end, however, she compromised, and my wife’s feet were bound until she married into our house.
*That is, the restoration of rule by Han Chinese in 1911, when Manchu rule was overthrown.
（Tam King-Fai 译）
