乔志峰·《门的故事》英译

我们乡政府的新办公楼南面临大路，东边是小路和麦田，北边有条小河。本来把大门开在南边最合适，可领导表示门冲大路太吵，指示施工单位把门开在了东边。大家都感到很不方便，可这是领导的意思，所以谁也不敢说什么。

过了不久换了领导。新领导一来就皱着眉头说：“怎么把门留在东边呢？这不是旁门左道吗？”大家很高兴，认为这下可以走大路了。不料领导的指示却是把门开在北面，也就是朝河的方向。这下好了，还不如原先走小路方便。可这是领导的意思啊，谁也不敢说什么。

过了一阵，又换了领导。这位领导一来就皱着眉头说：“怎么把门留在北面呢，这不是让大家走后门吗？”然后果断指示：把门开在南边，正对大路。这下子皆大欢喜，大家都夸赞这位领导英明。

直到有一天，办公室刘主任喝醉了，才泄露了三个领导三个门的玄机：第一位领导姓牛，把门开在东边有麦田的方向，暗藏“牛得草”的吉利喻意；第二位领导姓庞，庞就是“螃”，即螃蟹，这螃蟹是离不开水的，所以门要冲着小河；第三位领导姓马，要想一马当先、马到成功，当然得跑大路了……

听了刘主任的解释，大家惊得目瞪口呆。

The Door of an Office Building

Qiao Zhifeng

The new office building of our township is so situated: its south faces a main road, on its east are a path and wheat fields, and on its north is a small river. It’s most suitable for the door facing the south, but the township leader thinks otherwise, deeming it would bring a lot of noise from the road. He directs the construction company to have the door open towards the east. This creates much inconvenience for all who have to enter it, but none dares to complain.

Not long after a new leader takes over. He frowns at the position of the door, “How could it be so arranged? Facing the east actually makes it a side door that gives an impression of woefulness.” Everybody is happy at his remarks, thinking it possible for the door to face the main road. But what turns out is beyond people’s expectation. The leader orders the door be changed towards the north, i.e. facing the river. That’s even worse than before, for it brings greater inconvenience. But this is the leader’s decision; nobody dares to protest.

Soon afterwards the leader is replaced by a new one. On his arrival he shows a great dislike about the direction of the door. “How is it to let the door open northward? Don’t you mean to go by a back door?” Then he resolutely decides to change it into a southward one: facing the main road. This decision is warmly supported by all. Everyone is contented and regards the leader as a wise official.

That’s not the end of the story. One day truth is eventually revealed when Mr. Liu, chief of the township office lets slip, as a result of drunkenness, the secret motives of the three successive leaders. The first leader is named Niu, meaning “cattle”, so he likes the door opening towards the east where wheat fields are situated, implying “plenty of grass for the cattle to graze”. The second is named Pang, a homophone to “crab” in Chinese. As the crab lives where there is water, he then wants to the door to face the river. The third is named Ma, meaning “horse.” Since the horse likes to gallop on highways he naturally chooses the south as the suitable position of the door.

Liu’s remarks leaves all of us amazed and stunned.

（陈文伯 译）