琦君·《虎爪》英译

Tiger Paw Nail

As this year is the year of the tiger, I suddenly remembered my tiger paw nail.

It was sixty years ago when I was nine that my mother hung a tiger paw nail around my neck with a piece of red cotton string. I was scared of it and thought it very ugly, so I hid it under my coarse cotton undershirt. The tip of the nail scratched my bare skin, and I had nightmares, so I took it off and put it in my mother’s sewing box.

I remembered it was early morning. My mother and I were kneeling on the grass mat and chanting Sutras. We heard noises at the front gate. There were the sounds of drums and cymbols. Someone was shouting, “We have killed the tiger! We have killed the tiger!” Mother and I ran outside. We saw several rough villagers carrying a wooden plank. On top of it lay an animal with yellow and black stripes, not much bigger than a dog. They put it down in our big courtyard. The animal must be a tiger, I thought. It lay there still, with its eyes tightly shut. Blood was dripping from its underbelly. It was already dead.

My mother, a devoted Buddhist, started to chant the Sutra of Mercy. I was frightened and ran into the house alone. I heard a villager saying to my mother, “Do you want to buy some tiger meat, Lady? It will keep your body warm this winter.” “We don’t want it. Please take it away. Heaven have mercy!” “What mercy?” The villager asked out loud, “What mercy? Tigers are most vicious and eat people.” “If you don’t harm them, they will not harm you,” Mother said. “You are too merciful, Lady. Even people harm people. To say nothing of beasts!” My mother started to get angry. “Please take the tiger away and clean up the blood stain on the ground. Why did you kill this baby tiger? Its mother will be after you!” The villager laughed and said, “Ha! Mother tiger. We’ll kill her when she comes. The tiger skin and the tiger bones are all very expensive!” My mother would not argue with the villagers anymore. She came into the house.

She knelt down in front of the Buddha shrine and chanted the Sutra of Mercy. She repeated it over and over. I kept thinking of the tiger with its eyes tightly shut. Its mother must be looking for it everywhere by now. She probably is very sad.

Surely, we heard the mother tiger crying sadly that night and several nights afterwards. No villager dared to kill her. Then we did not hear her crying anymore.

One day, Grandaunt took out a small tiger paw nail and gave it to my mother. She said, “Hsiao Chun has seen the baby tiger. I bought this tiger paw nail especially for her so she can be kept from evil.” Mother was stunned for a while and put it on the kitchen table. After Grandaunt left the room, my mother said, “The paw nail of the tiger is a charm, and it will keep evil from you. I will have it set in silver and let you wear it.” “I don’t want to wear it. I am so scared. Whenever I see this nail, I will think of the dead baby tiger and its poor mother!” “You have a kind heart,” My mother said, “Wear the paw nail. You will remember to say the Sutra of Mercy for the baby tiger.” I did not want to disobey my mother. She had the silver casing made and hung it over my neck. But I took it off later on.

Many years later, when I went away to college, I did not bring the tiger paw nail with me. It lay in my mother’s sewing box. I came home after graduating from college, but my mother had already passed away. Her sewing box was gone. I was going through her old clothing and found an old jacket of mine. Wrapped in it was the tiger paw nail. The red cotton string had been cut short, and on it hung a little red silk purse. When I opened the purse, there was a tiny book of Sutras. I knew my mother must have remembered the tiger all these years. She had tied the paw nail and the tiny Sutras together. This was to ask the Buddha to have mercy on it, and when she tied it with my jacket, she must have thought that it was a charm and would help keep evil away from me.

I held the tiger paw nail in my hand and thought of the baby tiger with its eyes tightly shut, and how its mother would cry and how my mother must have worried about me.

The tiger paw nail and the tiny book of Sutras were lost during the war. Sixty years have since passed. According to reincarnation, I hope the baby tiger’s time was served and it has already turned into a person by now.

（王克难 译）

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