M. Robert - Why I Fired My Secretary 汉译

Not long ago, I fired my secretary. Many people wondered why. I had not explained the reason which I knew in my mind.

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “ Happy Birthday.”

I thought … Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.”

I said, “Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day... We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We?”

I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?”

She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok.” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there...

On the couch ...

Naked

秘书小姐

前不久，我把办公室的女秘书给辞了。许多人对此感到疑惑不解，我无法跟他们解释。不过，原因何在我自己心里明白。

上星期的一天是我的生日。那天早晨，我不知怎么的一点也乐不起来，对于过生日我已经渐渐淡漠了。

我下楼准备吃早点。我想，妻子肯定会兴高采烈地对我说“生日快乐”，说不定她给我送上一个生日礼物呢！然而，她竟然连一个“早安”都没说，更别提祝福我“生日快乐”了。“唉，这就是婚姻。”我有点黯然神伤。不过，孩子们会记得的，我想。然而孩子们走进厨房吃早餐时，连一句话也没有说。

我闷闷不乐地走出家门，心情极为沮丧。

一走进自己的办公室，秘书珍妮特马上迎上前来，“早上好，老板，祝你生日快乐！”听了这话，我的心里感到一阵温暖，毕竟还是有人记得我的生日。我一直默默地工作到中午1点，时值吃饭时间，我竟然毫无食欲。这时候，珍妮特敲响了我办公室的门，然后走了进来，“外面的天气如此的美好，今天又是你的生日。所以，我想请你出去吃饭，就我们两个人。”

“感谢上帝，这是我今天听到的最令人激动的事。那我们走吧！”我兴奋地答道。

我们一起共进午餐。我们没有到常去的老地方，而是找了一个隐秘的小地方。我们每人要了两杯马丁尼，一起开怀畅饮。

在回办公室的路上，珍妮特问我，“哎，这么一个美好的日子，我们就不必再回办公室了吧，对不对？”

“我想，我们不必回办公室了。”我马上应道，“你有什么想法？”

“去我的公寓。”她说道。

走进她的公寓，珍妮特转身来对我说道，“老板，如果你不介意的话，我去一下卧室，请你稍等片刻。”

“请便。”我紧张地答道。

珍妮特走进了卧室。几分钟过后，她带着一个大大的生日蛋糕从卧室里走了出来，后面跟着我的妻子、孩子，还有我的几十个朋友和同事，大家一起对我唱着“生日快乐”。

而此时此刻的我，坐在那里……