There are two sorts of
people in the world, who with equal degrees of health and wealth, and the other
comforts of life, become, the one happy and the other miserable. This arises
very much from the different views in which they consider things, persons, and
events; and the effect of those different views upon their own minds. In whatever situation
men can be placed, they may find conveniences & inconvenience. In whatever
company, they may find persons & conversation more or less pleasing. At
whatever table, they may meet with meat & drinks of better and worse taste,
dishes better & worse dressed. In whatever climate they will find good and
bad weather. Under whatever government, they may find good & bad laws, and
good & bad administration of those laws. In every poem or work of genius
they may see faults and beauties. In almost every face & very person, they
may discover fine feature & defects, good & bad qualities. Under these
circumstances, the two sorts of people above mentioned fix their attention,
those who are to be happy, on the conveniences of things, the pleasant parts of
conversation, the well-dressed dishes, the goodness of the wines, the fine
weather; &c., and enjoy all with cheerfulness. Those who are to be unhappy,
think & speak only of the contraries. Hence they are continually
discontented themselves, and by their remarks sour the pleasures of society,
offend personally many people, and make themselves everywhere disagreeable, If
this turn of mind was founded in nature, such unhappy persons would be the more
to be pitied. But as the disposition to criticise, & be disgusted, is
perhaps taken up originally by imitation, and is unawares grown into a habit,
which tho’ at present strong may nevertheless be cured when those who have it
are convinc’d of its bad effects on their felicity; I hope this little
admonition may be of service to them, and put them on changing a habit, which
tho’ in the exercise it is chiefly an act of imagination yet has serious
consequences in life, as it brings on real griefs and misfortunes. For as many
are offended by, & nobody well loves this sort of people, no one shows them
more than the most common civility and respect, and scarcely that; and this
frequently puts them out of humour, and draws them into disputes and
contentions. If they aim at obtaining some advantage in rank or fortune, nobody
wishes them success, or will stir a step, or speak a word, to favour
their pretensions. If they incur public censure or disgrace, no
one will
defend or excuse, and many join to aggravate their misconduct, and tender them
completely odious. If these people will not change this bad habit, and
condescend to be pleased with
what is pleasing, without fretting themselves and others about the contraries,
it is good for
others to avoid an acquaintance with them; which is always disagreeable, and
sometimes very
inconvenient, especially when one finds one’s self entangled in their quarrels. An old philosophical
friend of mine was grown, from experience, very cautious in this
particular,
and carefully avoided any intimacy with such people. He had, like other
philosophers, a thermometer to show him the heat of the weather, and a
barometer to mark when it was
likely to prove good or bad; but, there being no instrument invented to
discover, at first sight,
this unpleasing disposition in a person, he for that purpose made use of his
legs: one of which
was remarkably handsome, the other, by some accident, crooked and deformed. If
a stranger,
at the first interview, regarded his ugly leg more than his handsome one, he
doubted him.
If he spoke of it, & took no notice of the handsome leg, that was
sufficient to determine my
philosopher to have no further acquaintance with him. Everybody has not this
two-legged instrument,
but every one with a little attention, may observe signs of that carping,
fault-finding disposition, & take the same resolution of avoiding the
acquaintance of those infected with it. I therefore advise those
critical, querulous, discontented, unhappy people, that if they wish
to be
respected and loved by others, & happy in themselves they should leave off
looking at the
ugly leg. |
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