‘What have I earned for all that work,’ I said, ‘For
all that I have done at my own charge? The
daily spite of this unmannerly town, Where
who has served the most is most defamed,
The
reputation of his lifetime lost Between
the night and morning. I might have lived,
And
you know well how great the longing has been,
Where
every day my footfall should have lit In
the green shadow of Ferrara wall; Or
climbed among the images of the past— The
unperturbed and courtly images— Evening
and morning, the steep street of Urbino
To
where the duchess and her people talked
The
stately midnight through until they stood In
their great window looking at the dawn; I
might have had no friend that could not mix
Courtesy
and passion into one like those That
saw the wicks grow yellow in the dawn; I
might have used the one substantial right
My
trade allows: chosen my company, And
chosen what scenery had pleased me best.’
Thereon
my phoenix answered in reproof, ‘The
drunkards, pilferers of public funds, All
the dishonest crowd I had driven away, When
my luck changed and they dared meet my face,
Crawled
from obscurity, and set upon me Those
I had served and some that I had fed; Yet
never have I, now nor any time, Complained
of the people.’ All I could reply Was:
‘You, that have not lived in thought but deed,
Can
have the purity of a natural force, But
I, whose virtues are the definitions Of
the analytic mind, can neither close The
eye of the mind nor keep my tongue from speech.’ And
yet, because my heart leaped at her words,
I
was abashed, and now they come to mind After nine years, I sink my head abashed. |
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